From child hooligans to 'canine KGB death squads’: UK media launches usual Russia World Cup takedown
Journalists are already cherry picking the grimmest things they can find (no matter how small or tenuously-linked) to cast the Russian World Cup in a negative light. The same tactic was used during the Sochi winter games. Anyone remember the double-toileted stall of 2014? Or that time a journalist had no hot water in his hotel room? Oh, the horror. That Russian bogeyman is at it again.
Scary Russian Ultras are coming to get you
The Sun newspaper has been eager to sow fear surrounding the upcoming matches across Russia. Their favorite way to spread fear – blame the scary Russian Ultras. British fans have been warned to "be quiet as mice – or else" face the wrath of Russian thugs. Quoting a "Moscow-based hooligan ringleader known as Mordvin" – pay no mind to the fact that Mordvins are one of the larger indigenous peoples of Russia, and not a name – the Sun insisted that thugs had issued serious following threat.
"The authorities say they can control us but – make no mistake – if we are provoked in any way and there are no cops around we will hit them hard," 'Mordvin' said. "I am talking about hitting them with our fists and whatever else we can reach with our hands if it comes to a battle."
To further their claim, the Sun published a collection photos under the headline ‘ULTRA VIOLENCE’ that "reveal life inside Moscow's gritty underworld, where hardcore football fans and bare knuckle boxers rule the streets." Apparently every Russian is a brutal menace out for blood. Unluckily, the photographer spoke to RT to clear the air, stating that the images were "clearly taken out of context."
The photos – taken back in 2015 – show two men (gasp!) drinking beer during the day, a man showing off his tattoos, and a woman with a bruise on her face to show what 'real' life in Moscow is like in the lead up to the World Cup… some three years before the tournament.
Beware the killer Russian children ready to attack the English
"Russian hooligans are teaching combat skills to children as young as 13 in order to help them fight rival fans at this summer's World Cup," says the Express. Yes, that's right. Russian child soldiers are coming to get you if you dare step foot on Russian soil, you dastardly Britons. The video shows a bunch of kids in some kind of schoolyard punch-up – so obviously such horror – unlike anything you'd see in a UK school playground – is in store for the English fans.
Inhumane, evil Russians culling dogs via 'canine KGB death squads'
Yes, you read that correctly. Russians are forming 'Canine KGB death squads,' says the Telegraph, to eradicate the millions of aggressive stray dogs across Russia’s host cities. The Telegraph did mention that some dogs had attacked people, but we're not sure where the KGB bit came from. Perhaps a bit racist, but when it comes to Russia the gloves are always off.
Cute puppy dogs and killer kids aside, we've saved the worst until last – overpriced hotels. Guardian reporter Shaun Walker took to Twitter to have a moan about the astronomically expensive and – and in his words, late-ish – World Cup accommodation.
The joy of looking for late-ish World Cup accommodation pic.twitter.com/aT2bD7jm1g— Shaun Walker (@shaunwalker7) May 13, 2018
Luckily, a boatload of people were quick to offer alternates. Like Airbnb. Or a "a triple-room in a four-star country club" – but that's probably not hipster chic enough for a Guardian employee.
A triple-room in a four-star country club is €379 the night of the England game. Is that not hipster enough for the Guardian? You really need to sleep on a boat? pic.twitter.com/NbfifzpED7— Bryan MacDonald (@27khv) May 15, 2018
I've just booked on Airbnb for Volgograd - managed to find something which was too disastrous for £30 a night - still some available.— Max Doyle (@MaxDoyle_) May 14, 2018
So to surmise, the UK media is content victimising a whole nation of people because Britain just doesn't like Russia. Is it because they're still a little hurt they lost the right to host the tournament to that 'abhorrent' nation of scoundrels to the east?
Who knows – but the real question here remains:
now the real question is : who'll be the first cretin reporter to post a toilet pic as in good old winter olympic days ?— raphael enthonnoir (@trolopopol) May 15, 2018
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