Penis ring removals a growing problem for London fire service

Penis ring removals a growing problem for London fire service
London Fire Brigade has laid bare the financial cost of kinky sex sessions gone wrong in a wince-inducing report on ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’-inspired accidents across the capital.

The number of call-outs involving hapless lovers stuck in compromising – and painful – positions is apparently increasing in London.

According to the capital’s fire service, routine rescues involving trapped citizens have actually gone down.

However, incidents of a sexual nature are on the rise, a phenomenon firefighters are referring to as the ‘Fifty Shades’ effect, in reference to the raunchy book and film series.

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With the second ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ movie now hitting cinema screens, London Fire Brigade issued its warning about “people getting stuck or trapped in objects as penis ring removals soar.”

Providing food for thought to Valentine’s Day lovers, the fire service is advising “if it doesn’t fit, don’t force it.”

Since April 2016, London firefighters have been called to liberate nine men from embarrassing penis ring malfunctions – which is double the number recorded between 2014 and 2015.

In one incident recounted by the emergency service, hydraulic pedal cutters had to be deployed to cut a metal sex ring off a man’s privates.

Meanwhile, cases involving individuals stuck in a kinky handcuff bind rose from 15 to 27 between 2015 and 2016.

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Over the course of five years, London Fire Brigade estimates that ‘Fifty Shades’ incidents have cost taxpayers £830,000 (€978,000) in call-outs. A fire brigade map shows areas of London where incidents of this nature most frequently occurred since 2008.

“We’re pleased that fewer people are getting themselves stuck in difficult situations and reducing call-outs, however, it seems the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ effect is still leading to some embarrassing call-outs,” said Dave Brown, London Fire Brigade Director of Operations.

“I’d like to remind everyone that 999 is an emergency number and should only be used as such. If there’s a genuine emergency, fire crews will of course attend and will be on the scene to help in minutes.”