'Not programmed for manners’: Mouthy Morgan should lay off laying into Erling Haaland & focus on his own interview technique

Erling Haaland has been a youthful breath of fresh air in European football, breezing through scoring records. So mouthy Piers Morgan should drop his stale grumpy old man schtick and stop attacking the player’s media competence.

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Piers Morgan on Monday laid into Borussia Dortmund striker for his somewhat taciturn answers to reporters’ questions. He was replying to a montage of laconic answers that seemed to poke fun at unsuspecting journalists, titled ‘I don’t think Erling Haaland is programmed for interviews’.

In his own summation of the 19-year-old, Piers concluded: “Hmmm, I’d say he isn’t programmed for basic manners. You’re a good player young man but your arrogance with the media is unedifying.” 

Haaland has racked up a plethora of mesmerising scoring records during his relatively short stint playing top level football and has the world at his extremely skilful feel, all while still in his teens. 

After joining Dortmund from Red Bull Salzberg in January the Norwegian became the first Bundesliga player to score 5 goals in his first 2 games, has scored his 13 goals at a rate of one every 63 minutes and has as many Champions League goals as Barcelona this season with 10. 

And when football returned from its most painful enforced absence this weekend in the Bundesliga, or course the honor of the first scorer went again to the blonde-haired boy from Bryne.

Haaland’s frank manner can be excused as the byproduct of a clear, ruthless, winner’s mentality, surely? One which sees him already treating anything that falls below his high standards with contempt, including sub-par reporting.

Not according to Piers. The cocksure, cantankerous presenter of UK breakfast show Good Morning Britain has become famous - and for the most part, well-liked - on account of his bullish interrogation of politicians and experts during the coronavirus pandemic. 

Why then the wincing when the boot is on the other foot? Especially when that boot is responsible for as many goals as times Piers has failed to cement an interview with UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson? 

And, if anything, Piers’ relentless grilling can surely be favorably compared to Haaland’s aggressive pursuit of success and scoring goals on the pitch.

Haaland should not be attacked for his bluntness, because sometimes to cut through the bullshit of professional sport, a bit of acerbity can go a long way, as it can while pressing an MP for clarity on Covid-19 protocol.

Haaland's youthful innocence sometimes tiptoes into ignorance, but if there is any concern that that will affect his development, then he will surely learn for himself that forthrightness can only get him so far, one way or another.

For instance, Paris-Saint Germain players chopped the giant striker down to size when they knocked Dortmund out of the Champions League by trolling his sit-down celebration during the first leg. He will soon be taught the lesson of being able to give as good as he takes. 

And therein lies the irony that the same man often bemoaned for his lack of tact during any interview process, and his brand of mouthy, logic-above-all tactics of persuasion and all too proud of his Ofcom complaints numbering in the thousands, lecturing another man on matters of manners and candidness in the course of interview.

Perhaps Piers sees too much of himself in Haaland's direct approach. Maybe there is an element of jealousy or at least begrudging admiration. Either way, I think we can all agree that Piers-Haaland is an interview we'd love to see.