Castro urges Americans to vote for a robot
In an op-ed published in the Cuban media this week, former President Fidel Castro says that while he is still unimpressed with the Barack Obama administration, the GOP hopefuls attempting to usurp the commander-in-chief leave Americans with a pathetic pool of options this election season and their plight might be impervious to resolve from both Republicans and Democrats.
Faced with a choice between Obama, a top-tier Republican rival or a robot, “90 percent of voting Americans, especially Hispanics, blacks and the growing number of the impoverished middle class, would vote for the robot,” says Castro.
According to the ailing former leader of Cuba, US President Barack Obama is "hopelessly immersed in seeking re-election” and unwilling to work towards bringing Americans the hope and change that was a hallmark of his 2008 campaign and largely led to him capturing the White House three years ago. While some may say that Obama has brought enough change to America already, Castro insists that “the dreams of Martin Luther King are thousands of light years further away than the nearest inhabitable planet."
The competition isn’t all that favorable in Fidel’s eyes either."Worse still, any of the Republican candidates for the presidency… carry with them more nuclear weapons than ideas for peace," offers up Castro.
Regardless of whom Americans vote into the White House in only nine months, Castro says that the solution for the United States is still teetering on impossible. “Is it not obvious that worst of all is the absence in the White House of a robot capable of governing the United States and preventing a war to end the life of our species?”
Is Fidel Castro saying that the only way to guarantee a good future for the US is to program a robot to give orders to 300 million Americans, lest they want a commander-in-chief that will char the globe and ruin the world as we know it? Does the country really need a T-800-style Terminator to take the United States out of its turmoil? Must Americans be amendable only to a Jetson-esque android to keep a nuclear bomb from obliterating the Earth?
Maybe. But Until a robot makes the roster of potential candidates, we’ll have to see if Castro’s prediction polls correct in the states. If so, contenders this year might want to take cues from some of our solderized superiors. Perhaps President Obama might want to think of adding this quip to his re-election campaign speeches, courtesy of none other than Arthur C. Clarke’s Space Oddysey star HAL 9000:
“I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.”