‘Triumphant return of glory hole’? NYC issues KINKY tips for safer sex, masturbation & orgies in Covid-19 times

The New York City health authority has released a new advisory sharing sorely needed tips on safer sex habits amid the coronavirus pandemic, even urging that partners don masks during the deed, triggering a wave of mockery.

The new tip-sheet was made public this week, catching the internet’s eye on Wednesday and promptly going viral. The official document lays out “harm reduction strategies” for those seeking company amid the coronavirus outbreak, making some less-than-conventional suggestions.

“Make it a little kinky,” the document advises, asking residents to “be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.”

Moreover, whether it’s “your thing” or not, wearing a mask is highly advisable during sex, the city counseled, as it will “add a layer of protection” – from the virus, that is. Kissing is also out of the question, with the health authority stressing that saliva and other bodily fluids can easily transmit the disease.

While the city warns that “if two is company then three (or more) is definitely a crowd,” it suggests that those unable to steer clear of orgies should still “limit the size of [their] guest list” and “keep it intimate.” One should also “pick larger, more open, and well-ventilated spaces” to host such group activities – perhaps somewhere outdoors would make the ideal venue.

If one is still feels that sex poses too great a risk, even armed with all the tricks handily provided by the health authority, they can always fly solo, the advisory suggests, observing that “masturbation will not spread Covid-19.”

You are your safest sex partner… Video dates, sexting, subscription-based fan platforms, sexy ‘Zoom parties’ or chat rooms may be options for you.

The advisory has triggered a storm of mockery online, with netizens finding the tip about “walls” particularly amusing.

Seeing that “kink” had apparently been endorsed by city officials, some joked that full-body latex suits are set to become the standard-issue get-up for safe intercourse – all part of the “new normal” in the post-Covid world.

Others were simply bewildered by the city’s new sex guide, while one helpful netizen added to the list of suggestions with even ‘safer’ tips.

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