It was Russia, or Soviets, or the KGB... Political accusers in UK & US just aren’t trying anymore
“Hey Washington, are you using Russia at the moment, because London needs it to cover its ass today.” Donald Trump should never have made it to the White House, it must have been Russia. Brexit should never have happened, it must have been Russia. Old lefty Jeremy Corbyn could become prime minister, it must be…. damn it, that one’s already being used.
Somewhere, there’s a Western political playbook lying in a box, labelled “in case of political emergency break glass.” Inside, Putin, Russia, the Soviet Union, Czechoslovakia, KGB, and Stasi are all listed as synonyms.
If you want a demonstration of how the establishment is running out of ideas, then just look at the political scandals playing out in Britain and America all at the same time, and see if you can spot the pattern.
The inquiry into alleged Russian interference in the last US election is the one-stop-shop for anyone who isn’t happy with the outcome. The idea that 13 people posting online could swing a vote in the world’s most celebrated democracy would have seemed ridiculous a few years ago.
It’s still ridiculous today, but the bar for political accusations is much lower now. Wait until someone over in Washington reads the Wikipedia page on Slovenia – Melania Trump will be in an FBI interrogation center before you can cry “nyet.”
A parliamentary inquiry in Britain very much likes what it sees going on across the Atlantic, and is also trying to blame Brexit on social media sent from Russia. Twitter and Facebook have both said there’s no evidence, but the committee just keeps on chanting “Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia.” That will probably work in the end if we’re honest.
And now we have Labour leader Corbyn, who can’t really be attacked directly with the Russia stick, because it has already been rented out, so the next best thing is the trusty old Soviet stick.
Every pro-Tory source who wants to wade in is getting right behind allegations from former Czech spy Jan Sarkocy that Corbyn was a source for the Soviets back in the 1980s. Apparently the two met a few times in Parliament.
Prime Minister Theresa May took the chance to have a dig in Parliament herself, but she’s done far more shameful things in the Commons, so should probably not be too proud of herself.
The right-wing press has been having a field day with this one. But Sarkocy also claimed to have organized the Live Aid concert, and there’s no sign of Tory politicians and right-wing tabloid rags going after Bob Geldof with double-page spreads, unfortunately. They know the Live Aid claim is ridiculous, but they’ll put all cynicism aside when it lets them attack Corbyn.
Some of the coverage is just bizarre, like the Telegraph’s editorial headlined “Why does the Left still love Communism?” – ignoring the fact that it’s the right-wing press that is still banging on about events behind the Iron Curtain from the 1980s.
You could almost hear the anguish when someone found out that East Germany’s notorious Stasi didn’t have any files on Corbyn. (I’ll admit, he does seem the type.)
If you wander through the newsrooms of the Times or the Telegraph, you’ll see the real grizzled features of people that long for the Cold War. The Sun, which first broke the allegations, is owned by you-know-who (Murdoch, Rupert Murdoch), and you can be sure he doesn’t like the idea of Corbyn in Downing Street. Corbyn might ask Murdoch to return the key to the back door!
The most depressing part of the current scandals is not that all the accusers are unable to remove their Russian blinkers, it’s that they can’t think of anything imaginative to smear people with anymore. Why not pick on China for a change?