‘Maybe next week?’ Muslims troll ISIS’ ‘urgent’ call to arms on twitter
In an audio message allegedly recorded by Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the self-proclaimed “caliph” of Islamic State (IS, formerly ISIS/ISIL), the terror leader spent some 24-minutes trying to convince its members that the group is feeling “better than ever” under increasing pressure from Russia and US-led airstrikes.
I urgently call upon every Muslim to join in ridiculing Baghdadi and his group of idiots. https://t.co/CqtIZBw4aJ— Anjum Rauf Meer (@anjum_meer) December 26, 2015
Constant bombings and a fire storm from above has only “toughened” the organization and helped cleanse it of those unworthy, he claimed. However, apparently suffering severe human resource losses, he called upon Muslims around the globe to “urgently” join the terror group’s cause and become new recruits.
Quite predictably, it turned out that Muslims across the globe have many more exciting and urgent things to do. Rejecting the message IS has been attempting to spread and demonstrating that an overwhelming majority of Muslims follow Islam peacefully, hundreds laughed at Baghdadi’s message on social media.
@iyad_elbaghdadi too busy being part of a civilised and functioning society.— potato head (@ozzypotato) December 27, 2015
An Emirati activist, Iyad el-Baghdadi, ironically also bearing the notorious name, received hundreds of funny and sarcastic responses after translating the terror group’s plea.
@iyad_elbaghdadi I have to masturbate before. Could take a while. My whole life— Placebo Domingo (@thomasmatzka) December 27, 2015
@iyad_elbaghdadi damn dude.... I was on my way but then I saw the fuel prices. Send me money for fuel and I'm on my way.— Emir Hamidović (@xamidovic) December 27, 2015
Some cited travel restrictions and busy airports during the holiday season as reasons they couldn’t leave for Syria or Iraq right away.
@iyad_elbaghdadi Sorry dudes. Christmas week. Flights all booked.— George Norman (@HelloGeorgeN) December 26, 2015
Would do, but there's engineering work on the trains around London Bridge. Soz https://t.co/Rx2ucColWo— radio_shak (@radio_shak) December 26, 2015
Others said that joining a group of lunatics was a low priority for them compared to watching TV series on Netflix or going to the movies to check out the new episode of Star Wars.
But then how will I watch all the upcoming Star Wars movies? Also I don't like hanging with murderous psychopaths https://t.co/QBNNcj5aEX— Ali (@sak485) December 26, 2015
Too busy doing some Netflix related things. https://t.co/7EjzkpWDzu— Menna منّة (@TheMiinz) December 27, 2015
Reluctance to miss football matches or watch the UEFA Champions League final were other popular reasons to pass on the invitation.
Sorry bruv. Not until Liverpool wins the league. Then after that we have the Champions League. Raincheck? https://t.co/adpHH75dAL— Al (@alfxy) December 27, 2015
Some people wondered if IS could help them sort out urgent tasks first.
@iyad_elbaghdadi Ohh plz dude, not now. Very tight schedule these days.— Dilshad Riaz Virk (@DilshadRiaz) December 27, 2015
Authoritarian parents and college classes were also among the obstacles preventing potential recruits from rushing to join the “murderous psychopaths.”
@iyad_elbaghdadi I've got a note from my mum saying I don't need to— george_smith@1975 (@georgesmith1975) December 27, 2015
@iyad_elbaghdadi My dad said I have to be home by 8pm. Will we be done by then?— Guidance of God (@guidanceofgod) December 27, 2015
A sink full of unwashed dishes and taking a pet to a vet, along with other small chores and errands, forced others to take a rain check and wonder if the offer would still be valid “next week.”