Now we know the truth: 7 tricks RT employs to leave rivals trailing in its wake
1) First thing’s first – every organization needs efficient cash flow to fund its operations. Our financial mastermind at RT is a bear. Or more like Tovarisch ‘The Bear’...
2) And it’s not enough just to have the big bucks – you have to be able to move it to where it’s needed. You can’t just leave it in a bank account. So that involves big trucks and big boxes.
3) Dissent is not an option for an organization like RT. Everybody has to be singing off the same hymn sheet – that includes the cleaning lady who takes direct orders from the Kremlin.
4) Perhaps the biggest secret of RT’s success is its ruthless efficiency. Everything runs like clockwork – literally. The shocking truth is that “live” field reports are made on schedule and in-studio. Looks like “Wag the Dog” was right. This is not just some conspiracy theory. It also keeps travel expenses to a minimum.
5) Loyalty is key. RT is known for its diverse workforce, boasting journalists from across globe. So why are so many foreign reporters towing the party line with the Russian broadcaster. Oh, that’s easy – they are all being held hostage in an underground bunker. But at least they seem to get the occasional McDonald’s happy meal dropped in to them.
6) Even when presenters are on air, their freedom has to be a bit curtailed – all for the greater good of course. The most effective method is to handcuff them into their studio seats and have Russian military generals keep a close eye on the proceedings.
7) But, ultimately it’s leadership that makes all the difference. And that’s where the man himself, President Vladimir Putin, comes in. He approves RT’s message personally from video cutting booths, to keep it consistent.
So now, as they say on the X-Files, “The truth is out there.” Now you know everything. Please share it – this has to get out to the world. #RT10