Fitbit for man bits: Smart condom to rate your performance
The device made by British Condoms will let wearers compare their performance stats with the rest of the world (which is sure to do wonders for their self-esteem) if they so choose. It consists of a ring worn over a traditional condom that, when fully charged, allows for up to eight hours of data collection.
Data collected by the i.Con’s nano-sensors include thrust velocity, thrust speed, calories burned, positions covered and girth, for those who want to know. Adam Leverson, lead engineer for the device’s creator, called the release “truly a revolutionary day” in a statement.
I know that smart condom was created by a man because only men would come up with "thrust velocity" as a data point.— Bev (@bevtgooden) March 2, 2017
Medical Daily reports that antibody filters on the device would send an alert to its app when the i.Con detects proteins or antigens related to STIs.
Smart Condom gotta come with programmable voices.— NUFF 💬 (@nuffsaidNY) March 2, 2017
"Slow down big fella, she gon' wear you out big fella. You not Usain Bolt big fella."
The manufacturers are aiming for a release sometime this year and the device is currently available for pre-order at just under £60 ($74). It can be adjusted to fit all sizes.
Meanwhile, social media users have already started pondering how to fake results so to boost their Tinder profiles.
Man, put that smart condom in a ziplock, throw it in the washing machine for 3 hours, and then post the stats directly to your Tinder page— Idris Elbruh (@CapitalSS) March 2, 2017