Franks and beans: 13 rings stuck on German penis cut off by fire brigade
The brave, and probably entertained, emergency crew had to use an angle grinder (ouch) to free his frankfurter.
The 52 year old Munich man was trying to enhance his sexual experience, according to Die Welt.
Yeah, we hadn’t heard of it either.
Maybe it’s a German thing.
Or just a Bavarian thing?
Hitler liked 'poo sex' and wanted to be crapped on, according to secret report— TomoAnimators (@TomoAnimators) March 9, 2016
Roses are red— Alex D (@BossBarkley) March 9, 2016
Violets are blue
Call me daddy hitler and cover me in poo pic.twitter.com/0f7OHbVDFu
Just over here laughing to myself about Hitler's deformed micropenis.— Har Mar Superstar (@HarMarSuperstar) March 1, 2016
The unnamed c*ck-ring rocker originally went to the emergency room, but doctors called the fire department when they realized they didn’t have the right power tools.
The heroes graciously used an "elaborate and extremely careful" technique to remove the rings. Somehow the whole thing was a success and the penis remains intact.
A Berlin sex store was asked by The Local about the logistics of fitting 13 rings on a penis. Surprisingly, they said size wasn’t an issue as “it doesn't have to be particularly big, because there are different sized rings”.
For anyone interested in attempting to beat his record of 13, please consult this very important guide on how to use penis rings safely.
Or maybe leave the rings to Frodo and friends.
Of course, there's something about this story that sounds very familiar.