Male Idiot Theory proven? Men make up 90 percent of ‘stupid deaths’
It has finally arrived: concrete evidence to support Male Idiot Theory (MIT), which states that men are especially prone to serious accidents and fatal mistakes because “they are idiots and do stupid things.”
A recent study into the
20-year history of the Darwin Awards, doled out for particularly
stupid and unnecessary self-inflicted deaths, found that 90
percent of accolades were given to men.
The awards, first distributed in 1994, draw inspiration from
Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, which states that species
develop characteristics by self-selectively weeding out members
of the community with undesirable characteristics.
In this case, the undesirable characteristics include extreme
stupidity and the ability to remove one’s self from the gene pool
by performing an unprecedented accidental snuffing.
There have been 332 Darwins awarded since the prize’s inception,
but when analyzing the statistics, 14 were ruled out as they were
jointly given to men and women – mostly couples trapped in
adventurous and compromising positions.
Of the 318 remaining fatal blunders, 282 were awarded to men – a
staggeringly high proportion. Just 36 were given to women.
Previous winners of the Darwin Award include a terrorist who
opened his own letter bomb.
A thief, who attempted to steal cables from a lift shaft, cut the
wires supporting the elevator beneath his feet. Although he
plummeted to an untimely end, he earned a posthumous honor.
The extraordinarily high proportion of males killing themselves
in banal ways directly supports Male Idiot Theory (MIT), a highly
scientific theory which theorizes that men are more accident
prone because they are “idiots.”
Dr Dennis Lendrem of the University of Newcastle discussed the
definitions of the proverbial male “idiot.”
“Idiotic risks are defined as senseless risks, where the
apparent payoff is negligible or non-existent, and the outcome is
often extremely negative and often final,” he said.
“According to ‘Male Idiot Theory’ (MIT) many of the
differences in risk seeking behavior, emergency department
admissions, and mortality may be explained by the observation
that men are idiots and idiots do stupid things.
“There are anecdotal data supporting MIT, but to date there
has been no systematic analysis of sex differences in idiotic
risk taking behavior,” he added.
The British Medical Journal said it was “puzzling” that
men felt the need to perform such hazardous feats for social
status or “bragging rights.”
They made a special mention of the man who lost a testicle by
attempting to use a belt-sander as an auto-erotic device. He
narrowly missed out on a Darwin Award as he managed to save his
crown jewels (or one of them at least), using a stapler.
Lendrem said intelligence levels and alcohol consumption could be
“Despite these limitations there can be little doubt Darwin
Award winners seem to make little or no real assessment of the
risk or attempt at risk management. They just do it anyway. In
some cases, the intelligence of the award winner may be
questioned,” adding that it would be “naïve” to
rule out the effects of alcohol.
Lendrem made a special reference to the collective Darwin winners
who played a version of Russian roulette, alternately drinking
shots of alcohol and standing on unexploded land mines. One of
the mines eventually exploded, killing all three men.