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20 Oct, 2019 00:00

‘Russians will have a fight on their hands!’ Alaska governor vows to thwart ‘independence referendum & annexation’ in prank call

‘Russians will have a fight on their hands!’ Alaska governor vows to thwart ‘independence referendum & annexation’ in prank call

Governor Mike Dunleavy said he was aware of Moscow’s plan to stage an independence referendum to reclaim Alaska, and promised to arrange a gold nugget for the visiting Ukrainian leader, in a phone call with Russian pranksters.

The governor seemed honored to receive such a ‘high-profile’ call from none other than Ukrainian prime minister and the country’s ambassador to the US. Unsurprisingly, the key topic of the conversation was the omnipresent ‘Russian threat.’

The two pranksters informed Dunleavy of a sinister plan, masterminded by the Kremlin, to reclaim Alaska. They explained that Moscow believes it had only temporary rented Alaska to the US back in 1876, and now – especially since the state has a maritime border with Russia, while being separated from the rest of the American territory by Canada – wants its land back.

I’ve heard about that. I’ve been reading up on it and I’m obviously keeping an eye on it, so is our president.

The pranksters revealed that Moscow had already sent its ‘agents’ to the 49th US state to bribe the indigenous people in order to organize an ‘independence referendum’ and ‘annex’ Alaska under that pretext. Worried by the new details of the vile plan, the governor said that he would “certainly be talking to folks in DC about this information.”

The Russians “will have a fight on their hands” if they lay claim to Alaska, the governor stated, vowing to defend his state.

All I can say on behalf of Alaskans – we are Americans, and we have no desire to become part of Russia.

On a less ‘serious’ subject, the prank callers wondered if it would be possible to organize a trip to Klondike for the Ukrainian leader – and make sure that he finds a gold nugget there.

“I’m sure we can talk to some folks that can help arrange that,” Dunleavy promised, fully welcoming the idea of Petro Poroshenko’s visit to Alaska. The conversation apparently took place in early 2019 when Poroshenko was still Ukrainian president, but was only released online this Friday.

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The tricksters behind the prank, Alexey Stolyarov and Vladimir Kuznetsov, otherwise known as Lexus and Vovan, have made a name for themselves with a series of phone pranks on high-profile officials, previously getting one over on French President Emmanuel Macron, Democratic Congressman Adam Schiff, as well as former US ambassador to the UN Nikki Haley, then UK foreign secretary Boris Johnson, and hawkish US special envoy to Venezuela Elliott Abrams.

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